Few people will admit it, but we’re all insecure.
We’re insecure about everything – the way we look, our relationships, our academic or professional performance – maybe not all day, maybe not everyday, but at some juncture in our lives, at some level, we’re all insecure.
What’s not normal, or rather should not be, is the way most of us respond to it.
Insecurity is our problem. It’s not the problem of the people who make us feel threatened, intentionally or unintentionally, it’s our own, and we have to deal with it, we have to confront it.
The sad thing is most of us forget this fact, and we do what’s easier – we don’t confront our insecurity, we confront the people who bring it to the surface.
We put the blame on the shoulders of those we hold responsible for making us feel insecure, and regardless of what our conscience says, we set out to ‘put them in their place’, an effort that can include anything, from outright violence, in words or action, to a more subtle form of manipulation, using apparently innocent words to slowly but surely have the desired effect.
The aim of such ventures is twofold – to get our ego back to where it was, in its little bubble where it ruled the world and faced no competition, and to inflict similar feelings of insecurity and smallness on our ‘culprits’.
But that doesn’t work, not in the long run.
Revenge is a short-term solution. It may make us feel better about ourselves for a while, make us feel like we’re as good as we always thought, or rather hoped, we were. But then someone else comes along, or something else, and we’re back to square one, planning, plotting, fighting the enemy, and if we still give any attention to our conscience, fighting that too.
And that’s exhausting business.
The tougher road is to accept the insecurity, to understand that it’s a part of us, a part that we may potentially never get rid of, no matter what other people say or what experiences we have, to understand that its point of origin is within us, not those around us, and that to fix it, we have to fix ourselves, not the rest of the world.
We’re all insecure, at some point, at some level; how we act on that insecurity, that’s the decision we have to make.